Reasons why New Jersey should just be destroyed
So on this past Sunday Todd, Zoe, and I were on our merry way to Philly for the Summer Slaughter Fest featuring awesome death metal bands such as Necrophage, Suffocation, Dying Fetus, and Origin. After a crazy morning of trying to re-group from my Death Fest birthday the night before, we finally met Zoe at Penn Station to hop on our train to Matawan New Jersey to meet up with Todd’s friend Justin, who would be driving the rest of the way to Philly. We were really cutting it close to our 3:08 boarding time, and made it by 2 minutes. After much cheering and hung over high fives we were on our way to Matawan on the NJ Transit.Of course! When the ticket collector came to check our tickets, he told us we were going the wrong way. FML #1. So we get off at some stop in Jersey take this light rail train to another station and wait for another train to goto Matawan. Now let’s not forget that that show started at 3pm but we were planing to get there at 5pm anyway.
After asking the information booth about track and departure times, we were told 4:25pm on track 4. Great! So 4:20 rolls around and we wait on the platform for our train; we grab a seat and rejoice that we are finally on our way now. Todd however gets this sinking feeling that he should double check to make sure we are going the right way. He steps off the train to find a conductor and realizes that we are on the wrong train again. Todd runs back to us to tell us to get off the train while a conductor blocks him from entering the door. I see what’s happening and quickly run toward the exit with Zoe. The conductor then tells Todd that it’s not his problem, pushes him off the train and closes the door on us while we are trying to get out. I tried to actually jump off the train from between the cars but then found it a little to risky and would leave Zoe behind. FML#2. The train pulls away from the station as I watch Todd[and all the cash I had for the day] fade away. The train conductor then gives us an attitude when we try to ask him for directions and the best possible way back to Todd or Matawan. We finally decide it is best to take the train to the last stop in some bumble fuck part of Jersey called Rahway. Todd is left at the station with no tickets and the next train to Matawan in at 5:30pm. FML#3. So after 30 mins on the train I decide to chug the small bottle of Grey Goose, and Zoe cracks open some Jameson. I call Todd just to touch base with him. He tells me that he was escorted outside by the NJ Transit police because he was harrassing the information desk due to his fustration with this whole situation. Luckily, he doesn’t get into anymore trouble and was able to get on the train to meet Zoe and I.
Zoe and I arrive at Matawan and since I’ve been to Matawan for shows before I knew where the liqour store was. Bought 2 bottles of the cheapest whiskey with the $10 we had and chugged it in a parking lot next to a dumpster. After I’m throughly drunk we wait for Todd on the train platform and continue drinking. Finally the train comes, Todd’s friend Justin comes to pick us up, and we are on the way to Philly YAY!!!!!
Wait, you think our shitty day ended easy like that? Pft. We finally get to the show and watch Suffocation and Necrophage play an amazing show.
Justin drives us to Trenton to catch the 1:50am bus; suprize! the times were wrong and we missed our train back to New York. When’s the next train? 3:45am.FML #4.
Finally we convince Justin to drive us to Hoboken to take the PATH train into the city. After the entire ordeal is over…Zoe, Todd, and I arrive home at 5am in the morning.
FUCK NEW JERSEY, FUCK NEW JERSEY TRANSIT, FUCK MATAWAN, FUCK MY LIFE.